On High Schools and Destinies

Around a decade ago, I was in high school. (Yes, a decade ago. Bah!) High school should and could be the best and worst time of one’s life. It should be the best if you were at the top of the food chain: athlete, cheerleader, student council member, thick wallets. Worst if you’re a misfit or just plain dork. High school was, for me, well, it was more of a memory than a phase.

I kinda never gave a damn about high school, or school per se for that matter. We were taught that if we go to school, study hard, not miss classes, excel, et cetera, we will succeed in life. Elders, tito, tita, tell that to the jazillioners abroad who created this little networking site called Facebook and now owns everyone’s time and attention. Hey, doing good in school does give you an edge when it comes to the real world. And I cannot really preach about this stuff if I myself never excelled in my institution. But I did finish and graduate. That means I did something right, yes? So why am I stuck in a dead end job? Because I foolishly believe and placed my so-called fate in motivational garbage like “Everything is possible once you put your mind to it,” or “Dream big,” “Reach for the stars,” “May the Force be with you...”

Fate and destiny makes it easier for us to live. It gives us hope, blind hope. It’s a vicious circle. You want to succeed? Find a rich relative. You want to be loved and matter? Be rich.

Do I sound like half-minded bitter idiot? I probably am. Am I making a point? No, not really. I don’t even have any goals here. I just felt the need to write. I, however, was trying to connect high school life with what I’m feeling right now. That feeling of wanting to belong. And I miserably failed. Even my transitions sucked!

Now that that’s off my chest, I still feel horrible and spiteful. Yep, still got it! (--.)

Shall I Compare Thee...

"Hmm... her pancakes are much better than yours." No matter how secure we are with our present, one cannot help but think about what used to be. It's just how we are programmed. Whether we hear a song or we pass by somewhere, we suddenly remember something, no matter how obscure it is.

Comparison. This is something that I strongly believe should be included in the seven capital sins of, for the lack of a better word, love. Comparison will never ever bring you peace. It just strengthens that proverbial what-if and reminds you how foolishly happy you once was. Tell me thinking about how she used to save all the orange gummi bears for you or request for extra butter for your popcorn when you know she's figure-conscious does not make you go hmm, and smile a little. Not that the current one is a disappointment. Oh, no. She's a gymnast and takes up yoga classes. You stock up on your Red Bulls and Gatorades and Alaxan whenever she sleeps over. But like I said, the littlest and stupidest things triggers that comparison.

Here's the fun part. The harder you try to not compare, the more you do. You just gotta love the irony. But it really is not healthy. How do you think your current will feel when he or she finds out you were thinking about someone/thing else when he or she something for you and it did not meet your expectations? How would you feel if you fail to meet your girlfriend's expectations? I'm not saying you should divert all your energy on eliminating this destructive trait. You can't. It is futile to resist. But what one must do is absorb, smile then think about the reason why that thought is only a memory, and focus on what is making you happy this very moment. Provided you are happy. If you're just reminded about something without your partner triggering it, then it's not comparison. You're just sad.

This all came out of nowhere. Well, actually, a friend and I were talking about some almost-perfect-dork finally committing. But he committed to chick who is not-so-perfect. "Tagumpay," as I would like to call it. Emphasis on the almost-perfect trait of the dork. Now, my friend is accusing me of comparing that chick to our chick who has this thing for almost-perfect-dork. I, of course, denied because I really wasn't. It is not in my nature to compare, except maybe for prices. But off the record, if ever, that not-so-perfect chick is going to eat our chick for breakfast. (And what an inappropriate yet awesome image that is.)

Regardless of how not-so-perfect chick will destroy our chick in a heartbeat, if I were in almost-perfect-dork's expensive shoes, I'd choose ours without thinking twice. But that's just me, the Foolish Party God. (--,)

Needy Much?

Look, I know the odds are against me. And she ain't about to even the scales any time soon. And with my track record, possibly never at all. Call me foolish for hoping for some affirmation, but can you really blame me? Genuine appreciation will do. Not the obligatory and polite ones. Yes, one should never expect. But do sane people really never expect? So easy to say, "Never expect. That way, you won't be disappointed." Testify! And it's certainly very easy to reply, "Oh, I don't," complete with the sheepish grin. And maybe, we really don't. But is there really a difference between hoping and expecting? "Not expecting but hoping." How annoying is that statement? Especially if you believe in it.

I get it. The timing's all wrong and off. And I respect that. So I'm playing the waiting game. And for those of you who really know me, I am what you would call a grandmaster when it comes to waiting games. I know it's too much, but, I'm gonna have to ask, again, for a little reaffirmation. I'm slightly needy. There I said it. I am. But for someone who have never, ever got who he wanted, I'd think twice before throwing rocks at my direction. I apologize for wasting your time. I'm just hurt. (--.)

Banchetto

When we were exiled and thrown to what most people call Ortigas, there was only one silver lining, and that is the glorious grub-filled markets of Banchetto. Going there was easy as cake served there, right?

Wrong! They are only open on Fryday nights, till the wee hours of Saturday morning. Them creature of the nights I call my friends don’t have any problem at all sampling every cholesterol-infested goodness that paradise has to offer as they are in the office every Fryday night. And they always rub it in my face every chance they got.

30 Frydays and seven months later, take that you magnificent bastards. Hah! As expected, t’was a foodgasmic experience. My buddies Ralph and Erwin will attest to that. Although, they were enjoying the non-edible eyecandy vendors more than the monster burgers and kebabs.

Even delivered food to the office just because I am the best and most outstanding friend they have, only that and for no other reason. Really. Great stuff! Banchetto, I shall return. (—,)

The 2011 T&C Media Puerto Galera Experience: Return to Transcription

Things I brought home with me from this trip:

- “Don’t Stop Believin” by Journey will never apply to me because I have been, am, and will always be a city boy. I can’t and don’t swim, ‘kay?!

- I don’t think I’ll be riding any inflatable water contraptions for the meantime. I wasn’t trying to impress. I did it because I wanted to try out things I don’t usually do. #notaprettysight

- Fruits go well with rhum. And I think I made Professor Flitwick proud. #charms

- The people I was with are some of the best individuals out there. Already knew that, but they really are. #waitingtogetpaid

- I am responsible. #OhyesIam.

- I really hate long trips. :|

- Some things are so close but still so far. #Saklap

All in all, it was an awesome, awesome weekend. And I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again. Might tweak some scenarios here and there and bring stuffs that weren’t brought, or even the reputation-changing mishap, I ain’t changin’ nothin’. Another round, all-stars? After Holy Week, yes? (—,)

Never Again, 2010

Temper. I had the worst temper for 2010. It was probably my angriest year yet. And I haven’t had the slightest idea why I was so upset. The little things, as in insignificant things ticked me off. I was even scared sometimes that I might do something regrettably wrong. Fortunately, I did not and kept myself sane. However, I might be looking at a heart attack if I don’t calm myself soon. Calming myself soon is making progress, especially in the last few weeks. But that’s a whole nuther story.

2010 kinda sucked for me. And there’s no one major reason. It just did. Why? Here why:

- First off, my favorite talkshow host, Conan O’Brien, and his show were controversially dropped by those evil networks.

- Missed Avatar in IMAX because that placed is cursed.

- My favorite short book, Vince’s Life, concluded really bad. Stupid ending!

- The Tagaytay birthday trip was generally fun, but the turnout wasn’t that commendable. Thank you, so-called friends.

- Most of my weekends were spent home being pathetic and miserable.

- Charley’s got a couple of scratches because of idiot drivers and the most useless and stupid transportation: motorcycles.

- My favorite American Idol finalist, ever, Didi Benami, barely made it to Top 10.

- One of the best TV shows ever, it’s in my Top 10 all-time favorite list, Legend of the Seeker, was axed after two seasons.

- Richard Gordon didn’t even accumulate a million votes and the people believed a golden (or should I say yellow) boy will do a better job of running the nation.

- Lost, the TV show, ended. It was the most exciting and saddest 2 hours of my TV life.

- Boston Celtics bowed to LA Lakers in 7 games. It was a worthy and exciting series.

- WORST MOMENT OF 2010 GOES TO: transferring to Ortigas. I think that move was the catalyst for my being upset 24/7.

There were, however, some moments that are worth mentioning, like:

- Lots of christenings this year. AJ’s daughter, Ajee and I was godfather twice to the babies of colleagues, Akee for Renee and Sebastian for Roi. They somehow trusted me enough. But the best baptism of the year, and possibly ever, goes to Lexi’s Christening. Mobile bars, swanky dinner, hot patrons--good freaking times!

- This year, I probably spent more time in front of the screen than any other year. Downloaded so many stuffs, mostly TV shows that I follow. I guess it kept me sane for most of 2010.

- By summer, the boys and I were able to go to Lucena, Quezon for the infamous Pahiyas Festival. It was my first native festival and my buddies and I really enjoyed our time there.

- I was featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine. Yay!

- My beloved Red Lions and Red Cubs won double championships in the 86th season of NCAA. The Lions made history with their 18-0 sweep of the tournament and the Cubs winning back-to-back titles. I have to say that the celebration was off the hook for this one.

- Like last year, there were still lots of parties and events that I graced my presence with. Can’t say that they’re much or less fun than the others because of my belief that a party is a party, whether it blows or not. Went to my first worship concert this year to support Hannah and I actually enjoyed them. And no, I did not burst into flames.

- She’s birthday and 2010 Holidays. These two are my favorite moments of the year.

I admit, not all bad. But I cannot fathom to put the year 2010 and the word Awesome in a sentence together. The conclusion of my lady best friend’s four-year relationship scared me because for a moment there, the 2005 emerged and that year wasn’t also good on me. But after several depressed sequences and emo situations, and with the help of a new disaster waiting to happen, I, for the first time, felt there’s really nothing more there. We are just really, really good friends and I am genuinely happy that we are. I find that I’d be more happier with this semi-new character in my life. Caution to self, though: seriously challenging.

For 2011: I have but one goal--try to be truly happy. Don’t care how or why, I just don’t want to be angry anymore. I’m tired of being upset with every thing that isn’t even important to me. Maybe study. I remember saying I will definitely go all serious about my career when I reach 25, so I tried to save in 2010 to further my studies and that one’s actually very possible.

Okay, this is a lengthy one. But I did have lots to say. After all, I don’t write anymore these days. So again, disappointed for 2010 and hoping to be not angry for 2011. Seven hours before the year ends, bring out your noisemakers, kids. It’s time to drink and be merry. (--,)

Jess James & Lani Pillinger | Party Girls

Jacinta “Jess” James (27) and Lani Pillinger (27) | Party Girls

Here’s our bet for the fourth and newest season of Amazing Race Asia. Well, one of our bets anyways. But let’s face it, the other team’s a pair of athletic guys screaming doucheyness all over.

Jess is a tattoo artist and Lani is a model. And I’m sure they have much more achievements than what the AXN website gave us. Both are Aussies. But I’m certain they won’t pull off what Marc and Rovilson did from their season. Let’s just hope they come close, possibly the Dustin & Kandice of Asia.

Party girls. Right. Here’s hoping that the bikini bodies work and charm their way to the finish line.

PS: Been bitchin about getting a tattoo for the last month, and methinks Jess will be the solution. I wonder is she’s, well, gentle. (—,)

Tsaktra

Creepingly awesome. Two words that I will describe myself this very moment. I am awesome because I always deliver. I made it my mission to find this certain person in Facebook, and after months and months of determination, I finally did. Creepy because (see last sentence). But please, lay down your stones and restrain yourselves from aiming them at me. I actually have a good back story for this one.

See, this chick is a 10. It is rare to impossible to actually have a co-worker who is a 10. Don’t believe me? Come Monday, I want you to spend the whole work day observing officemates and company personnel and see if you can spot a 10. (Good luck succeeding at that!) Most 10s are untouchables. They either own the company, the daughter of the owner of the company or they are screwing the owner of the company (I don’t judge!), hence, untouchables. But let’s get back to my point. You see, Tsaktra, (not her real name. Tsaktra is too cool for us to know her real name!) is the particular 10 in this story. She is what one might call an exotic Asian delight. She literally stops traffic every time she crosses the street. One time, a friend almost caused a scene by tripping on one of the busiest avenues in the country, just because she (yeah, she’s female. what?) got distracted by Tsaktra. And the hearts of every dude in the office skips a beat every time she’s in close proximity. Best thing about this is, I feel that she may actually be touched, in a good-natured and totally appropriate way.

Let’s pretend for a moment that we are in a cheeseball movie and I introduce myself to Tsaktra and tell her that she’s a 10. Let’s also pretend that my fictional me will not crash and burn and Tsaktra actually finds me amusing and interesting, possibly cute. Awesome. Pretentiousness rules! Now let’s get back down to earth and stay a good two feet away from the doll.

Now, here’s my point: if you really, really want something and your heart is kind and pure, chances are you will not get that something that you really, really want. This is real life, kids. You don’t get to be happy. You only get to be visually satisfied. That’s what social networking sites are for. (—,)