Saturday, July 10, 2010


Creepingly awesome. Two words that I will describe myself this very moment. I am awesome because I always deliver. I made it my mission to find this certain person in Facebook, and after months and months of determination, I finally did. Creepy because (see last sentence). But please, lay down your stones and restrain yourselves from aiming them at me. I actually have a good back story for this one.

See, this chick is a 10. It is rare to impossible to actually have a co-worker who is a 10. Don’t believe me? Come Monday, I want you to spend the whole work day observing officemates and company personnel and see if you can spot a 10. (Good luck succeeding at that!) Most 10s are untouchables. They either own the company, the daughter of the owner of the company or they are screwing the owner of the company (I don’t judge!), hence, untouchables. But let’s get back to my point. You see, Tsaktra, (not her real name. Tsaktra is too cool for us to know her real name!) is the particular 10 in this story. She is what one might call an exotic Asian delight. She literally stops traffic every time she crosses the street. One time, a friend almost caused a scene by tripping on one of the busiest avenues in the country, just because she (yeah, she’s female. what?) got distracted by Tsaktra. And the hearts of every dude in the office skips a beat every time she’s in close proximity. Best thing about this is, I feel that she may actually be touched, in a good-natured and totally appropriate way.

Let’s pretend for a moment that we are in a cheeseball movie and I introduce myself to Tsaktra and tell her that she’s a 10. Let’s also pretend that my fictional me will not crash and burn and Tsaktra actually finds me amusing and interesting, possibly cute. Awesome. Pretentiousness rules! Now let’s get back down to earth and stay a good two feet away from the doll.

Now, here’s my point: if you really, really want something and your heart is kind and pure, chances are you will not get that something that you really, really want. This is real life, kids. You don’t get to be happy. You only get to be visually satisfied. That’s what social networking sites are for. (—,)