It’s All About Thyself in 2012

What a great year. If I had to rate 2012, it’d be in the top three years of my existence. Hello. Yes, the world did not end. And we all feel pretty shtoopid for even considering that the Mayans were accurate. Lying bastards. Anyway, I usually start off my yearend review with the one word that will encapsulate the whole year. This year, however, was so special and full of randomness that it’s not right to just use one adjective to describe it. So let me just say that 2012 was awesome and let’s all be at peace with it.

If you follow and keep waiting for fresh stories from moi, there is something seriously wrong with you. I don’t write anymore. Last entry I did was the 2011 review, and it’s already 2013. So let us all pretend that 2012 was that awesome that I did not find time to document every damn thing that made it all very memorable. Yes, I’m going to go with that.

The first half of the year was pretty steady. It was more of a build-up to what will be the best second half of a year ever. One thing worth mentioning is my quitting of smoking. YES, kids. I have been cigarette sober since the last days of 2011. It was a cliché resolution for 2012, but I freaking accomplished it. I said I was going to try to live all healthy and technically I did. Because I stopped abruptly, without even thinking about it, people ask how. Well, I am not ashamed to say that my intention at first was not for my own good, but to possibly impress. But after a few weeks, which turned into months, I was already doing it for myself. And it has been one of the things I’ve been proud of. Now I can run, climb stairs, taste flavors better and hug people.

Cannot really remember anything spectacular from February, but March had a moment. It was one of those moves that I was hoping to be a “game-changer.” First of all, it was never a game, and nothing changed. I invested a lot. Something I never do. But I figured, what the hell, right? Ridiculously cheesy greetings and sweet goods: Nothing. For every good intention, there is always an equally harsh frustration. Upside: I made a friend.

Months passed and it was still pretty steady. A friend went home from the states and slapped me with the cruel truth. TFTFZ mode. YES, kids. I laughed after knowing. A weird reaction, they say. But somehow I already knew but you know the power of wanting something so bad that everything else is irrelevant. What surprised me is I didn’t even know we were friends, or at least she thought of me as one. Whatevs. Granted I kind of lost a friend before we entered the BER months, everything made sense after that.

I am okay. I cannot say that enough. I am okay. September came and it was the best September ever. This one I’m sure of. Mom turned golden and instead of a party, we decided to take a trip. I’m no traveler. I like going places but I don’t enjoy trips. When will teleportation be available, nerds? Hong Kong is the best country ever. Okay, that sounded biased. It’s the only other country I’ve been to, but I had the time of my life there. Again, not going to go into details but I have decided I want to live there. I’d fit in perfectly. I had so much fun there that up to now I find myself daydreaming I was walking down the streets of Nathan and eating different kinds of strange yet heavenly dimsums. I’m no traveler but I think this trip lit up something inside me that this year I plan to visit friends across Asia. I said plan.

The Year of the Dragon

September always takes the cake and last year’s was no different. However, a close relative lost her battle with cancer by the end of the month. You can call my Tita the glue that holds the Ventura clan together. She’s also one of the best people I have ever known. And you know what they say about genuinely good people, they go ahead of everyone. The fam is still experiencing some grief until now but we’re making progress.

After Hong Kong, I don’t think I’ve ever had a boring weekend since. October ain’t different. Three-peat championship for my San Beda Red Lions. This championship may be the second sweetest in the last seven years. Don’t ask me why, it just is. More parties and events here and there all the way to November, where it held a party that was years in the making: the debut of my cousin Camille. It was a night of glamour, awesomeness and loads of Camille.

December ended just a couple of days ago but it had to be the longest, busiest but definitely fun December ever. Never-ending Christmas parties which was kicked off the company yearend party that seriously sucked. Sans for the hot DJ, that was a terrible party. Then there was the wedding of my good buddy Van and his lovely wife Choy. I swear, I have never seen a couple so happy to be married. You two should be role models for our other friends that are already hitched and those that are planning to. It was also in their pre-wedding party a couple of months ago that I started reinventing myself. Well, not so much reinventing but more like reverting back to my “real self. “

Of course, next to Hong Kong, the best part of 2012 was the homecoming of Ninang Cathy and her sons, Nicolo and Angelo, and The Return of Iya. It’s been seven years since their last trip to our islands and 10 years since Ninang and Nicolo’s last spent Christmas with the fam. A Very Bernabe Holiday is what I called the last three weeks of December. Saying goodbye to them was hard. I’m usually good with goodbyes. I always think, bah, I’ll see you later anyways. But this time was different. I have never felt the fam this close in years, possibly decades. It’s amazing how three short weeks defined a lifetime of happiness for the Bernabes. I mean that. Also, I miss Angelo very much.

A Very Bernabe Holiday

I did not get what I want last year. I got something much better: a new lease on life. Another cliché, really? It’s 3:00 am in the morning, what do you expect? I’m hardly coherent anymore. But it’s the truth. The frustrations and sighs will always be there, that I’m sure of. But I will not let it affect me anymore. I call it heart lobotomy. I’ve also taken several risks, especially with how I look. Fam and friends may not agree with my couture choices but, hey, let’s keep an open mind, shall we? For 2013, fucks will only be given to those who/that are worthy. I might sound and come off as a jerk, but what’s wrong with being one? They always get the girl and they’re rich. For 2013, I am looking out for number one and number one alone. Lowered expectations, less frustrations.

So far the joys and awesomeness of 2012 was carried over to the first few weeks of 2013. I feel significantly good and I know everything is okay. We’ll see if it will hold in the coming months as a major life-changing change is definitely coming.

Ten hashtags of 2012: #FAMILY, #FASHION, #HEALTHY, #INVESTMENT, #ITSOVER, #LOBOTOMY, #LOSINGONESFAITH, #MAJORBREAKUPS, #PARTYGOD, #TRAVEL. (--,)

Forgotten in 2011 Part III

Part III of Forgotten in 2011: Conclusion. 2011 went by so fast I hardly even noticed it happening. Like I said, it’s a good year but I don’t think it will have its own volume in my history books. If there’s one thing that I’m taking away from last year, it’s I grew up in 2011.

Along with turning 25 is the inevitable quarter-life crisis. I anticipated it, and prepared myself for it. And it happened. I questioned my purpose of existence, I felt the abandonment of my friends, I’m not in the state that I know I should be and I was constantly alone. All these symptoms I’ve experienced, and in able for me to cope with all the stress, I had to grow up. So I did.

Maybe because I believed 25 is old, so I started acting my age, dressing my age and dealing with situations in a mature manner. I understood things better. And by doing so, I was somewhat successful in my 2011 resolution. I did not find happiness but I did lessen my anger. Maybe I did not completely eliminate all my resentments but I’m getting there.

But loneliness, that’s something I should work on for this new year. You know, I actually know the solution for this one. It’s so easy. If only it were up to me. But alas, I can only hope and wish that things actually go my way this year. But not too much. I may be all smiles but getting disappointed is never fun.

Might as well write it and ask for it: please, please, please let me get what I want this year.

While I’m in my right state of mind, here are some things I want to do in 2012. I’ma be healthy, by eating right and lessening things that ain’t good for me. I want to enroll in a gym actually. It’s just, I’m not yet that convinced to shell out that much. Maybe second half of the year. Here’s what I should do for 2012. I need to let my guard down and start living. Lessen my rationalizing and calculating everything. It’s not sexy. Haha!

Seriously, I’m ending it here. To finally conclude, here are the 10 hashtags to describe 2011: #ABANDONMENT, #ALONE, #BELONGINGNESS, #CLARITY, #COMICS, #FALLING, #FASHION, #MATURED, #RESPONSIBLE, #WAIVERING. (--,)

Forgotten in 2011 Part II

Part II of Forgotten in 2011. As promised, I am going to indulge you with the insignificant but you’re going to read them anyway activities of mine for 2011. Let’s start with...

January: a good friend got married and I actually caught the bride’s garter. Cool, right? Had my mind was clear and I was actually there in my A-game. Unfortunately, someone decided to stay in my head and refuses to leave. Also, I threw a grand party to celebrate my 25th year of existence. It was fun. It was the first time I was able to bring together all my circles: high school kada, some of the boys, village kids and office all-stars. I gots to admit, it was a blast. By the way, it was in January that I tried to “grab a spoon.” I failed.

February: Month of the hearts. Not that I joined the festivities. Too busy fixing my own. I, however, found myself and the T&C All-Stars on the sands of Puerto Galera. Awesome, is what it was. Made a fool of myself by trying water sports. City boy here. Not to be used for water. As if I needed more awkwardness. But I found that I am a very responsible friend in this trip. And, hello, iPhone 4.

March: Third time’s a charm. Or so I hoped. Not even flashy confectioneries worked. I think it was in March that I finally started to see things clearly.

April: April was awesome. Busy month: Hannah’s Italian birthday; Mendiola Holy Week homecoming for me, Diana and Mary Grace and tour for Dinah; Nuvali tour for the Venturas courtesy of Uncle Petes and late dinner at Tagaytay during Good Friday; and T&C’s Highest of Fives, fifth year anniversary of our “beloved” account. The spoon-grabbing was absent this month.

May: The long-awaited, years-in-the-making April MeanBoys celebration finally happened. My best buds: Cyrus, Lawrence and Ralph’s joint birthday bash at Astoria Plaza. It was in this event that I realized that we weren’t that group of idiots who will always be there for each other. We are grownups now. Most of us needs to be home for their families and others have someone waiting for them. I was the only one left to spend the night with Cy and Aimee. Very sad, I know. And the happy couple would have preferred to be “alone.” Sorry, guys. Ha-ha. It did not end there. Merville celebrated its annual fiesta and the village kids had their after-party here at our clubhouse: good times. My adorable cousin Bea also had her ballet recital at Ateneo. Clubbing night at Seventh High for a Cosmo event courtesy of one of my favorite in-law, Pau. I was so totally cured of the infatuation. I thought.

June: Being that my friends are now living their own lives and I am totally “over” my predicament, I had to find something to keep myself sane. And that’s where I turned over to the geek side: comic books. My second half of 2011 was dedicated to reading and starting a small collection of comic books. I’ve always liked it but was never really this serious. Say what you want to say, but it really made me happy and kept my sanity intact. Oh, and Dallas Mavericks got their first NBA championship at the expense of Miami Heat.

July: Only three things comes to mind: the end of the Harry Potter films, NBA players visits Manila and Iya’s despedida. Iya finally had her U.S. application granted and by the end of this month, left for California to stay with Ninang Cathy and the family. The NBA visit semi-brought out the 2005 me. Then again, I think it’s already an annual thing. I’m gonna go through that every year but it won’t last very long.

August: Marked my five years working in my company. Half a decade, who would have thought? A milestone, I’m sure; but considered an achievement, on the fence. My dreams will never come to fruition if I stay here for another five years. Spicy Fingers became my favorite Happy Hour hangout in this month. And sadly, I missed this year’s VanessaPalooza because of typhoon Mina, who caused a lot of damage up north. With the departure of Iya, lots of changes in the household.

September: Ah, yes. September. The king of months. The one month I can always count on. Important people celebrating their birthdays. And it always delivers. Mom and I celebrated her birthday at Manila Ocean Park. She always wanted to go there so we finally did. Cool place. And of course, Bes’ annual birthday bash: the party of parties! The one event where we go all out and we go home with smiles on our faces. It was definitely a night to remember, and let’s just leave it at that. For months, I tried very hard to be all rational and to not open that door. After that awesome night, I turned the knob.

October: Look. I was in my very-hopeful-and-happy-but-utterly-naïve mode by this time. I laughed at my first quarter of 2011 self. I cannot believe I was that person. Here’s someone new who is more in my league. Challenging and complicated, yes; but someone who I’ll be able to relate to more. But after a few weeks and one special occasion, my pal failure comes a’knockin’ yet again. But what’s this? An actual MeanBoys nightout took place this month. AJ’s daughter, Ajee, celebrated her 2nd birthday and most of the boys were there. Nightout ensues after the party. I got lambasted by the boys for not being able to do anything when the opportunity presented itself. I told them there was nothing there. They did not buy it one bit. They just know me too well. Well, at least it got me thinking. Good thing Cy’s out of the country. And we certainly can’t forget, Back-to-back championships for my San Beda Red Lions, and I was there to witness the victory.

November: I think I finally accepted my fate of being alone and just decided to make the most out of it. I started not expecting from my friends, lessened my anger and resentment towards not having anyone, and just be awesome instead. I just realized, maybe Mom knew how I felt and planned this whole dine out in a new restaurant every weekend thing. It worked. I was actually enjoying her company and that abandonment feeling left me. Yes, expensive food is very therapeutic. Who says money can’t buy happiness? There was also this team bowling activity--that was fun. And just when I thought everything is going to be okay, the last day of this month proved otherwise.

December: Holiday season. Who doesn’t love Decembers? Fresh from the last day of November, that first-quarter me is back. It’s just the holidays. Then comes the team’s year-end party. I took point, so that the party will be awesome. That means, just like year, which really started it all, the vicious cycle will be repeating itself. But I’m not complaining. It’s just the holidays, right? The Party God made an appearance this month as his year-end party was a success. Also, I found love from my teammates. Suddenly, we ain’t this boring group of individuals anymore. We actually started going out, weekly, which I can honestly say one of the highlights of my year. They knew all along that my feelings never left me and I was just good at keeping it, and eventually it will return. Bastards! But it’s just the holidays. Oh, there are so many worthy moments for this month, but aside from the year-end, Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, there was one particular night that made me very happy. Still, it was just the holidays. It was nothing. And let me contradict and be truthful to myself by saying, for me, it was everything. And I’m kinda carrying that feeling as of this writing. This month, Uncle Alex and family started to move in to their new mansion, so that’s where we celebrated Christmas and New Year’s Eve this year. The Holidays are so much better this year.

How many of your precious minutes did I waste? You’re welcome. Do not fret, there’s still part three, the conclusion of my year-end review. Wait for it. But don’t hold your breath for it.

It’s not just the holidays, after all... (--,)

Forgotten in 2011 Part I

Abandoned. Kimberly asked me to describe 2011 with one word and I, without hesitation, Tweeted to her “abandoned.” Did I suffer through a breakup or got dumped? No. I would have welcomed the breakup over the abandonment issues I went through for this year in a heartbeat. Why abandoned? Emo much? Because “abandoned” sounds so much better than “napagiiwanan.”

What do you mean, “napagiiwanan?” In this time and age, when you reach mid-twenties, settling down is already an option. My titos and titas and family elders would raise their eyebrows with that statement. “Ang bata bata mo pa.” No, kins. I’m not. Sure, I’m years away from the ideal marrying age, but shouldn’t I at least be with someone I can possibly bring to that moment? “Darating din yan.” When? I’m in the peak of my life and I’m not having fun. When I’m old and wrinkled, when I look back at my prime, what will I see? A sad, young fool who never took a risk. Scary thought!

Again, what do you mean “napagiiwanan?” Exactly how it sounds. This year, even Erwin, the one friend we never got tired of making fun of that he’s gonna grow old alone, is in a committed relationship. Imagine my gasp and holy-fuck moment when he told me that he got his “Yes.” Hey, I’m very happy for my friend. I really am. He deserves to be happy, from all the crap he got over the years. But, how can I not be affected? Out of all the boys, I’m the only one who don’t need to ask permission from anyone with whatevers. Tomcat, the only remaining single schmuck from the bunch. I used to laugh at people my age who think their worlds are crumbling and they gonna die alone. Not so funny now that I’m in their shoes, huh?

What made it worse for me? The boys finally fixed their own personal priorities and became always unavailable. Out of 52 Fridays of 2011, I am probably home, very early, 45 of them. I really felt like I had no friends. It’s like seeing or hanging out with them is a luxury. Of course I had to understand. One by one they’re getting married and starting their own families. Can’t argue with that. But that doesn’t certainly make me feel better.

I did found new friends. From someone who is a regular in my writings. Her annual shindig is something I look forward to. Like I imagined, her friends are very cool. Albeit, young and wild, but that’s how I like my lifestyle. Or at least I did, until the latter part of the year. And their company and my delusion of actually being part of her circle lasted for a couple of months, enough for me to go all classic, yet again, with one of them. And we all know how I like them: complicated and impossible. As expected, it didn’t lead to anywhere. Not a big deal though, really. For she, um, well, she kinda plays both sides of the court.

2011 was supposed to be the turning point of my life. I told myself back in college that I should have earned my first million by the time I’m 25. Look, I did. Problem is, I’ve spent all of it over the years, while earning it. I should have been more specific. But what can I say? Our lives do not exactly turn out as we envisioned it back in school.

Okay. It’s not all bad. In fact, I actually view 2011 as a memorable and positive year. Compared to my friends who had lots of deaths in their families, major breakups that shook our whole worlds and just plain fucked up lives, I cannot complain.

I just had an epiphany. And that is I will split this year-end review into parts. Because I have so much I want to share but not enough time to get to all of them. So, kiddies, this is the first part. Tomorrow, let me indulge you with my monthly adventures, however insignificant they may be and how I can proudly say that I have matured in 2011. Happy New Year, loves! (--,)

Needy Much?

Look, I know the odds are against me. And she ain't about to even the scales any time soon. And with my track record, possibly never at all. Call me foolish for hoping for some affirmation, but can you really blame me? Genuine appreciation will do. Not the obligatory and polite ones. Yes, one should never expect. But do sane people really never expect? So easy to say, "Never expect. That way, you won't be disappointed." Testify! And it's certainly very easy to reply, "Oh, I don't," complete with the sheepish grin. And maybe, we really don't. But is there really a difference between hoping and expecting? "Not expecting but hoping." How annoying is that statement? Especially if you believe in it.

I get it. The timing's all wrong and off. And I respect that. So I'm playing the waiting game. And for those of you who really know me, I am what you would call a grandmaster when it comes to waiting games. I know it's too much, but, I'm gonna have to ask, again, for a little reaffirmation. I'm slightly needy. There I said it. I am. But for someone who have never, ever got who he wanted, I'd think twice before throwing rocks at my direction. I apologize for wasting your time. I'm just hurt. (--.)

The 2011 T&C Media Puerto Galera Experience: Return to Transcription

Things I brought home with me from this trip:

- “Don’t Stop Believin” by Journey will never apply to me because I have been, am, and will always be a city boy. I can’t and don’t swim, ‘kay?!

- I don’t think I’ll be riding any inflatable water contraptions for the meantime. I wasn’t trying to impress. I did it because I wanted to try out things I don’t usually do. #notaprettysight

- Fruits go well with rhum. And I think I made Professor Flitwick proud. #charms

- The people I was with are some of the best individuals out there. Already knew that, but they really are. #waitingtogetpaid

- I am responsible. #OhyesIam.

- I really hate long trips. :|

- Some things are so close but still so far. #Saklap

All in all, it was an awesome, awesome weekend. And I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again. Might tweak some scenarios here and there and bring stuffs that weren’t brought, or even the reputation-changing mishap, I ain’t changin’ nothin’. Another round, all-stars? After Holy Week, yes? (—,)

Never Again, 2010

Temper. I had the worst temper for 2010. It was probably my angriest year yet. And I haven’t had the slightest idea why I was so upset. The little things, as in insignificant things ticked me off. I was even scared sometimes that I might do something regrettably wrong. Fortunately, I did not and kept myself sane. However, I might be looking at a heart attack if I don’t calm myself soon. Calming myself soon is making progress, especially in the last few weeks. But that’s a whole nuther story.

2010 kinda sucked for me. And there’s no one major reason. It just did. Why? Here why:

- First off, my favorite talkshow host, Conan O’Brien, and his show were controversially dropped by those evil networks.

- Missed Avatar in IMAX because that placed is cursed.

- My favorite short book, Vince’s Life, concluded really bad. Stupid ending!

- The Tagaytay birthday trip was generally fun, but the turnout wasn’t that commendable. Thank you, so-called friends.

- Most of my weekends were spent home being pathetic and miserable.

- Charley’s got a couple of scratches because of idiot drivers and the most useless and stupid transportation: motorcycles.

- My favorite American Idol finalist, ever, Didi Benami, barely made it to Top 10.

- One of the best TV shows ever, it’s in my Top 10 all-time favorite list, Legend of the Seeker, was axed after two seasons.

- Richard Gordon didn’t even accumulate a million votes and the people believed a golden (or should I say yellow) boy will do a better job of running the nation.

- Lost, the TV show, ended. It was the most exciting and saddest 2 hours of my TV life.

- Boston Celtics bowed to LA Lakers in 7 games. It was a worthy and exciting series.

- WORST MOMENT OF 2010 GOES TO: transferring to Ortigas. I think that move was the catalyst for my being upset 24/7.

There were, however, some moments that are worth mentioning, like:

- Lots of christenings this year. AJ’s daughter, Ajee and I was godfather twice to the babies of colleagues, Akee for Renee and Sebastian for Roi. They somehow trusted me enough. But the best baptism of the year, and possibly ever, goes to Lexi’s Christening. Mobile bars, swanky dinner, hot patrons--good freaking times!

- This year, I probably spent more time in front of the screen than any other year. Downloaded so many stuffs, mostly TV shows that I follow. I guess it kept me sane for most of 2010.

- By summer, the boys and I were able to go to Lucena, Quezon for the infamous Pahiyas Festival. It was my first native festival and my buddies and I really enjoyed our time there.

- I was featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine. Yay!

- My beloved Red Lions and Red Cubs won double championships in the 86th season of NCAA. The Lions made history with their 18-0 sweep of the tournament and the Cubs winning back-to-back titles. I have to say that the celebration was off the hook for this one.

- Like last year, there were still lots of parties and events that I graced my presence with. Can’t say that they’re much or less fun than the others because of my belief that a party is a party, whether it blows or not. Went to my first worship concert this year to support Hannah and I actually enjoyed them. And no, I did not burst into flames.

- She’s birthday and 2010 Holidays. These two are my favorite moments of the year.

I admit, not all bad. But I cannot fathom to put the year 2010 and the word Awesome in a sentence together. The conclusion of my lady best friend’s four-year relationship scared me because for a moment there, the 2005 emerged and that year wasn’t also good on me. But after several depressed sequences and emo situations, and with the help of a new disaster waiting to happen, I, for the first time, felt there’s really nothing more there. We are just really, really good friends and I am genuinely happy that we are. I find that I’d be more happier with this semi-new character in my life. Caution to self, though: seriously challenging.

For 2011: I have but one goal--try to be truly happy. Don’t care how or why, I just don’t want to be angry anymore. I’m tired of being upset with every thing that isn’t even important to me. Maybe study. I remember saying I will definitely go all serious about my career when I reach 25, so I tried to save in 2010 to further my studies and that one’s actually very possible.

Okay, this is a lengthy one. But I did have lots to say. After all, I don’t write anymore these days. So again, disappointed for 2010 and hoping to be not angry for 2011. Seven hours before the year ends, bring out your noisemakers, kids. It’s time to drink and be merry. (--,)

Coffee Mate - Inspired

Nescafe always delivers awesome advertisements. And I must say that this is by far my favorite. The 34-second video captures the simplicity and purity of a sophisticated couple. Those of you really know me will be thinking, “You hypocrite bastard. You do not believe in all this absurdity.” Quite true.

But, here’s my take on its message: young couple, enjoying each other’s company, not fully committed, living on their own, and no pesky kids around. Now that, for me, is the perfect way to live. Awesome!

Won’t hurt too if the girl in this one will be the same in my version: Solenn Heussaff! (—,)

Don’t Stop Being Awesome

I never did!

Happy New Year! Now that my obligatory greeting’s out of the way, I can go about my business of welcoming 2010 with my first hurrah.

AWESOME...is the word I was looking for last night/year when I felt like I had to write something just before the year ends. Indeed, 2009 was an awesome year and not just because I’m awesome, but like I said, there were lots to be thankful for from the year that just passed.

For 2010, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just take 2010 one day at a time. I will not set any goals since I don’t accomplish them anyways. The Mayan Party God saw light in 2009, and he shall still rule in 2010.

Don’t stop believing... another thing I am not capable, I’m afraid, of not doing! (--,)

It was Fine, 2009

After a four-month hiatus, maybe I should write a short tribute to 2009. After all, it did bring lots of great things for me. The thing is nothing really comes to mind when I try to think of one. Was 2009 that awesome that I forgot how it passed by?

To sum it all up, 2009 was a very eventful year. Totally eventful as I’ve been into numerous events that made me more awesome than I already am. I promise to do a year-end review before I go back to my normal self after the Holidays and maybe the top 10 awesomest events and parties I’ve been to.

Wasn’t even able to write that much and I blame it all to my busyness as a Mayan Party God. LOL! That’s why I’m thankful for my Tumblr account. I kinda gave updates about me the last two months through pictures and one-liners.

Five memorable words about 2009: PARTY. CAREER. WEDDINGS. DEATHS. MOVIES. (--,)

PS: I just realized that my 2009 goal was to gain weight. Idiot! Setting goals that are not achievable. LOL!

August

The start of August was devastating for all free Filipinos worldwide. Our beloved Ex-President Corazon Aquino passed away leaving behind a legacy no other Asian might achieve for a long time. Wrote a separate entry here. But, aside from Tita Cory’s death, August made 2009 fun and worthy again. August boasts of awesome parties that included a contender for Event of the Year, memorable nightouts, a glorious wedding, birthdays of important people, et cetera. Trust me, I loved it.

August 1, 2009 | Ex-President Corazon Aquino Passes Away

Related entry: Thank you, Cory

August 1-2, 2009 | Maritime Academy of Asia and the Pacific

If there was another event other than the sad one above that I was not jumping for joy for, it was this one: a mandatory visit to Dad and his new career in the Marines. The campus grounds were seriously awesome. State-of-the-art equipment and Eastern technology, so for a very, very, very brief moment of disillusionment, I actually considered enlisting for the Marines. I’d probably die on my first day of training. Dad seems to be really adjusting with provincial life so that’s good. In conclusion: I will not survive provincial life!

August 5, 2009 | Ex-President Corazon Aquino Laid to Rest

In a ceremony similar his late husband and unofficial National Hero, Ninoy Aquino, Cory Aquino was laid to rest with over half a million people following the procession from Manila Cathedral to her final resting place that is Manila Memorial Park, beside Ninoy. It took almost 10 hours but she reached there peacefully. It was a fitting end for another National Hero.

August 7, 2009 | T&C General Assembly
& Third Year Anniversary

I know not much about the general assembly except that I was awarded a Certified Captionist plaque and that they played some sort of game and there were free donuts. My superior decided to speak with me one-on-one because my superior feels there’s something wrong and I need to share. Fine, I did. I was honest and I couldn’t care less. We’re fine now, at least I think we are. This day also marks my third year in the company. Big whoop.

August 8, 2009 | Home Depot Session with the Mean Boys

What a memorable night. Never would have I ever imagine that I will forget my ATM pin, thus, making me moneyless the whole night. What’s worse? It was before we started our session making me sober and alert. Sheer stupidity on my part. Went to this bar in Home Depot, Ortigas, too bad I forgot the name of the place. We did win a bag full of condoms and other Frenzy swags. Awesome! Transferred to Sidebar Café at El Pueblo after and met with old friends, but still without any funds, we weren’t able to go to the “after-after-party” which would make all one’s woes go away. “I Never” was introduced in this session.

August 14, 2009 | Registered Voter

Because I am such a responsible citizen of my country, I have decided to register for the upcoming 2010 elections. That, and because the registration committee decided to personally visit our village and allow residents to register in the convenience of their own area. Never thought there are so many unregistered people. Just think how much vote these people are.

August 15, 2009 | G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra

This day started with me scouring the northern area of Metro Manila for the perfect formal coat, or at least a coat that will fit me. I did find one in SM Megamall, it was like it was tailored for me…so yay for that. Finished early so I decided to pick up O and we watched G.I. Joe in SM Mall of Asia. Yes, it solidified my undying love for Sienna Miller and that movie might actually the movie of the year for me. We’ll see. Ate dinner at Roasters afterwards with some shocking revelations for dessert. LOL!

August 18, 2009 | Enterprise Breakfast with Mamee and Diana

Well, I got me meself an iPod shuffle just for eating breakfast with Mamee and Diana. Woohoo! Thank you, Mamee. Never knew there were some very interesting and hot patrons in that building eating very early. Must meet and dine there more.

August 20, 2009 | Authentic Korean Haircut

After like two months, I decided to have my hair cut. It needs volume and shape and I also need to look presentable for the upcoming wedding that I am attending. I did not want my usual style so I decided to try out this Korean salon near our office. When I say authentic, your hair stylists are really Koreans who I had a hard time communicating with, because they only respond to yes and no and hand gestures. I liked the result though. And it’s cheaper than my regular stylist, so.

August 21, 2009 | Makeshift MeanBoys Session
at Pier One, The Fort

With the weather really bad and no plans whatsoever, I decided to dial up some friends’ digits hoping for a night of drinking and hooking up. Indeed, we got together to drink. As expected, just to drink. Like I said, it was short-noticed so not much happened, just exchanged silly stories and went home earlier than usual. We did not win condoms that night and there aren’t any after-after-parties.

August 29, 2009 | Roi and Maricar’s Wedding

Months of preparations but years in the making. Uncle Roi (as I fondly call him) ties the knot with his long-time love, Maricar. Surprised as I am for them asking me to be a part of their entourage, I was really excited and totally grateful. They chose Mary Immaculate Nature Church at Las Piñas as the place to exchange vows. The road to the site was known for its heavy traffic, which made my supposed less than one hour trip to be two and a half. I did not make the pre-pictorials for the entourage, which I am really apologetic for, Uncle. Anyway, the wedding went off without a hitch and it ended well. Met some interesting Southern people and discovered that a real uncle of mine is a very famous individual in their province. Cool! Enjoyed the wedding. Now, I’m off to the second part of this epical day: VanessaPalooza 2009.

August 29-30, 2009 | VanessaPalooza 2009

As if a grand wedding isn’t enough, it’s also Vanessa’s 25th birthday party and she decided to throw a party of ultimate proportions. Why the ultimate proportions? Because the party was held in her and O’s hometown: Cavite, the one place I try to avoid for reasons that Cavite is a different region and bad things happen to me when I travel there. But, in the spirit of camaraderie and just because I wouldn’t miss an event such as that, armed with Vanessa’s personalized map, I drove there, from Las Piñas to Cavite, all by myself, and I only got lost, like, a couple of times? Made it in one piece. My arrival was grand, of course, as I was wearing my wedding clothes. The guys are already there but it was only when I they felt my presence that they decided to kick off VanessaPalooza, at least, according to O. Great food, free-flowing drinks which is unusual for me because beers were the first one to go before the Cruisers. Swanky! We played “I Never...” a drinking game O and I were dying to play with friends. Lots of revelations and some friendly bantering which ended up into some controversial alienation. LOL! Vanessa’s rented videoke machine comes with a mic stand, it added drama. Anyway, most of us slept there because the party lasted until breakfast, thereafter, a long drive home. Thank you, Vanessa. See you in the next VanessaPalooza 2014! Hahaha!

August 31, 2009 | TriNoma Lunch and Merienda with Parents

For some reason, yet again, Dad’s been itching to spend his money on us and we are more than happy to oblige. It’s just that we were so busy the whole month that even long weekends (which does to not apply to my loser job) are luxuries. Finally, we found time to be with him. We ate at Gerry’s because he loves ‘em native cuisine and I treated them to Five Cows Resto and Ice Cream Bar. Awesome way to end an awesome month.

My word of the month is “Awesome,” obviously. I’m purposely including it in every sentence or phrase that I say. It’s gonna be big, I tell you. Awesome. Awesome August. Yeah! I did miss Bino’s birthday session start of the month…that sucks! And on the same night as VanessaPalooza’s, August-born Mean Boys threw a huge party and Paul O. called for a session/meeting with the old bankers for night of seafood and cocktails. Obviously, I cannot split myself into 4 so I wasn’t there. But as you have read, there were other marvelous celebrations that compensated for that.

Shoutout of Happy Birthdays to: +Papa Pedro. T.Lisa, Bugal,Tonichi, Loti, Soffy, Kimi, Anita, Paolo G., Val, Jio, Cuyeg, Tatz, Don J., Biboy Chris, Nyce, Nikoy, Vanessa, Eunice, Talla and to my loving cousins: Bea and Angelo

So those were some of the best moments of August 2009. I hope people enjoyed the month as much as I did. Funny, August always seemed boring to me. Nothing much happens. And it never tops the following month, which is my favorite of the year, the month that lots of life-changing things happen, where only three days of this month I know no one of celebrating their birthdays, marks the start of the “-Ber” season: September. (--,)

ReAPEr

Do not mistake my confidence with courage. I’m not some little sissy girl but if I can avoid physical conflicts or any conflict for that matter, I shall! I can probably talk my way out of most things, again, not involving courage; definitely attributed to confidence. So, it’s just normal that I have phobias. Never really gave it much thought and just try to get by it if need be. But for the past 50 days or so, this being terrified of sharp objects reached gigantic scales.

A visit from GREAPER2

Annual Physical Exam, what else? Some things I dread annually: that random two weeks I will be seriously sick, my birthday (reason being I age but I love the festivities), and the worst: company physical exam. I hate sharp objects, okay. It’s not the pain nor the blood; it’s the whole thought of being poked by a needle and your precious blood extracted. Gory and uncomfortable, I tell you. But, as the law applies to all or none at all, I have to comply. Every year, I get by fine. Good, right? You’d think I’d be jaded by it after all these years. Well, I thought so too. It’s different as the deadline approaches.

It was announced early last month, June, that we have to undergo the damn thing. What can I do? Simple: prolong my agony by procrastination, which is actually stupid because it prolongs my agony. So, for almost or beyond 50 days, I was terrified mentally, exhausted physically, and seriously ill-tempered. I would say that it was worse this year than the last two as I felt like it really affected me personally. It’s over though. I had accomplished it this morning. Like last year, a few seconds and my dilemma is effing over.

What do you know, two of my most dreaded annual moments happened within the month as I also had that “very sick state.” Wow. I must have really pissed off those people in-charge or someone who dictates my fate. I may be skeptic about you, destiny, but nevertheless, I’m sorry. Please do not stick sharp metal objects into me again.

P.S.: and someone important got hitched this afternoon.
Well, that’s that. Congratulations!

Intelligent Scorpio Thinker

Perfect afternoon: the sun shining brightly, people treating their fathers to malls because it’s Dad’s day, lots of things to do...and yet, I wasted three hours of my “rest day” Facebook-ing. Sheesh! Answering pointless quizzes, commenting on posts of friends, exchanging stupid nothings with online people, yes, it actually kills precious time. But the afternoon was not a total waste. I refuse to see it that way because that is three hours of precious life I will never get back! LOL!

Facebook quizzes are generally senseless but one has to admit that it’s actually fun and sometimes, it kinda makes you think. Let me share two of them quizzes I decided to take a while ago. If I had known better, I would say the explanations were taken from my own thoughts.

Timmy completed the quiz “Who is your “perfect match”?”
with the result: Intelligent Thinker.

Your perfect match is someone who is kind, creative and quiet. This person is a thinker, someone who enjoys observing and analyzing the world. This type of person is content to let you do all the talking, yet is intelligent and bright and can contribute a wealth of knowledge to any conversation. While this person might seem aloof or even shy, once you get to know them, they are incredibly interesting, full of life and their serious side will compliment your more out-going nature. The top traits they are looking for in a mate include someone who is supportive, compassionate and understands their introverted nature. While this person might be somewhat skeptical that love exists because they are not big risk-takers and they choose their friends cautiously, deep down they are ready and eager to fall in love and will fall deeply for you, forming a deep and eternal bond.

I don’t know about quiet but calm and collected, I would take. Sounds like the perfect girl for me. I guarantee that we will have loads of fun together. And yes, I know it’s only a match and matches may mean a lot of things, but hey, who knows, we might actually hit it off! Honestly, I have someone in mind!

...and...

Timmy completed the quiz “Who is your lifetime match?”
with the result:
They are born between 24th October-22nd November.

People sometimes find you cold and reserved. They don't know you well enough though because in reality you're warm and passionate with sensitivity to nature and natural beauty. But you hide your feelings. You're a natural worrier and as soon as you fall in love, you're afraid of being deserted. It's this fear that too often prevents you from committing or doing what feels right deep down: for example, leaving someone you love through fear of them abandoning you one day. But over time, you gain confidence in yourself and your relationships have a better chance of lasting. Hidden agendas don't exist with you pair, as you both expect honesty and loyalty from one another no matter how brutal it may be. You complete one another, with these people you are able to have an intellectual debate or those deep intellectual conversations which you crave. The sexual chemistry between you to will last a lifetime and you only improve with age. They respect your reserved nature as they are a big believer in privacy themselves and will allow you to naturally come out of your shell. Finally, you would have met someone who matches your stamina in and out of the bedroom...but not just in the bedroom of course. They will go the distance with you. Just listen to your heart more instead of doing the most sensible thing all the time. Listen with your heart.

Cold and reserved...two adjectives that I will put beside the brand name if ever I was being sold in boxes as products. This explanation is right on the money. People keep asking why I do not share my life with someone, well, here you go. Read it! It may not rationalize the whole thing (believe me, long story) but you get the gist of how I go about my life. Notice the commitment dilemma? Nice, nice. Call me stubborn, but I do not want to listen to what my heart says! No good will come to those who let their hearts take over! Maybe in time, God forbid! And importantly, I do not know any prospect who was born between the said dates! Damn!

One more thing. One of the questions from the second survey had this line as an answer and I am officially turning it into one of my identity psalms:

“You are a free spirit who enjoys the chase
more than the prize…”

So effing true!!!

If You Seek A You!!!

If I ever get to be an old person, I mean just like those old guys who smell funny and have loads of stories, I think I’d be the totally grumpy kind. My mother says I got my petulant trait from my Lola Tits and probably from Uncle. I get irritable easily that little petty things tend to annoy me so much. Ever since forever, I distinctly remember being ill-tempered for no apparent reason. I’m not impatient. At least, not anymore. I used to be really intolerant of whatever situation I am in. But I got over that. Then again, impatience is very much different from annoyance.

For the last three weeks, my irritableness just reached gigantic proportions. “With great power comes great responsibilities!” F*You, Spiderman’s Uncle! I do not have great power, just added responsibilities. When they finally gave me the opportunity that was rightfully mine for the longest time, they think they can do anything they want as they have me on leash. Hah! Apparently, they can!

You see, I am very much grateful for believing in me but that doesn’t mean I will be happy with whatever it is you people deem necessary and good for me. This is about my schedule, yes! Bumping me up for a later shift and actually moving me to weekdays, what the hell were they thinking? Are they even making their noggins work? For 25 days I’ve been ranting and hating thinking about it, trying to accept it to no avail. It’s becoming a problem actually. Small and feeble instances will tick me off even if I understand that I shouldn’t be reacting that way. I fear it might put strains to whatever relationships I may have with those who care.

I believe that...
...their decision-making sucks big time!
...the weather’s making everything worse.
...people need to ask me out on weekends as boredom is depressing!
...commuting was invented by the devil to make people suffer!
...people are generally bad individuals because they are not good!

“Stop being a bitch, Tim! There are far more major problems people are facing everyday than your pathetic feelings towards your schedule!” “Well, fuck you! First of all, I do not give a damn about other people’s problems as I have my own dilemmas to tend to. Secondly, I just seriously don’t care.”

SON OF AN EFFING BITCH!!! If I could, I would seriously shout nasty words at the top of the tallest building in the city. If it’s possible, I would gladly throw and break freaking dishes as they say it is actually therapeutic. I just know these things will help big time. Do I need anger management? No. I am still in control. But do I need to take it easy? Definitely. All these resentment: not good for the health! I swear, my rage will do me no good!

March

This year just keeps getting better. January started it all, February looked good as well, March is, well, the awesomeness that is the end of the first quarter of 2009 continues. Oh, yeah! March was that awesome that I actually forgot some of the events that I attended. Seriously! So, forgive me if I did not include your party because I can’t recall I was there. LOL!

March kicked off summer season for yours truly. The family’s Zambales’ trip was one for the books. It is also in March that one of our closest friends departed to sandier pastures. There was one event worth mentioning though that I did not go to because I was invited at the last minute. Tsss.

March 4, 2009 | Krocodile Grill with Nay, Zelle, and Neng

Okay, I’m not sure if I got the date right but I know this fell on the first week of March and it was my first event this month. I also know that we have pictures from this night but Z hasn’t uploaded them yet. Catch up on what’s happening with each other. Will probably turn into a monthly thing. Thank you, Z, for the pasalubong.

March 8, 2009 | You Changed My Life

What? I enjoyed the first one, I certainly enjoyed this one too. Some days, you just hafta be nationalistic. LOL.

March 12, 2009 | Kads’ Despedids @ Yoo-Hoo

One last session with our not-so-famous friend and colleague, with his new hairdo, Kads. He’ll be gone for a year or two. Or so he says. We each have our own bets and theory on how long before we see him. I say we’re spending the coming Christmas with him. LOL! Farewell, Wingman!

March 12, 2009 | Wrestlemania VII @ Van Square Garden

Right after saying goodbye to Kads that night, I was off to one of the most awaited MeanBoys event of the year: Van’s Birthday. Although, this year, the turnout was disappointing. Probably because the invites were sent the day before and as you know, we ain’t in college anymore. [Sighs] We also celebrated Boyds’ birthday that night. The night was full of steaks, pasta, roasts, beer and Johnny Walker was out best buddy all throughout. Van has not posted the rest of the pics yet. BOO!

March 15, 2009 | Tita Gee’s Birthday @ Via Mare, Serendra

Happy Birthday to her and thanks for a lovely dinner. It marked the start of the awesome celebrations her family had and are having. Wicked!

March 17, 2009 | Dad’s Birthday

Okay, aside from Dad’s birthday, nothing special happened on this day. We didn’t even see each other. I just feel like I had to mention it. Image was from my birthday. Happy Birthday, Father!

March 21-22, 2009 | Venturas of Matutum @ Tammy’s Zambales

This is an annual thing for the Venturas It started way back in the old days with our lolos and lolas taking my titos and titas at Sual, Pangasinan. ([Sighs] because the older folks have great stories about those trips but I wasn’t able to experience them anymore as they stopped going there mid-1980s) Anyway, I think Tammy’s will be the new Sual for our generation. The service was totally excellent and definitely worth it. I, not being much of an outdoor person, had a blast. And…as I observed after…it really brought the family together. Hopefully, my generation, my cousins would be as close-knitted as our parents are before us.

March 28, 2009 | Hannah’s Graduation Reception
@ John & Yoko, Greenbelt 5

Milestone for one of my favorite persons, great food, hot patrons, family…a no-brainer successful equation. Hannah graduated from high school and is off to this college in Katipunan. But before going all serious for the future, Japanese food, being her favorite, must be served. I had yet to make a food review of the resto, but I will. Earth Hour was also that night and I bumped into Anne Kartis. Yum!

March 31, 2009 | Baconator Night @ SM Mall of Asia

To cap off the month, my dreams of experiencing Wendy’s Baconators came true. Pay day and I finally agreed to Odette and Vanessa that I will accompany them to sample Haagen-Dazs’s hyped fondue. Together with Neng, we headed to SM Mall of Asia for it to become a reality, but for some reason, we ended up splitting one Baconator into three and settled for Ice Monster after. Har!

Goodbyes and milestones were the main themes of the month that was; birthdays as well and the annual family outing…awesome! Totally awesome! I really had a hard time documenting them because as much as March being eventful for me, my slothness level equaled my activities. Not much pictures, really. March delivered, and the last days of March were special as preparations for the “Ventura Event of the Year” were underway. Special because it paved the way to the start of the second quarter of the year, a month that is occasion-stricken, a month that’ll leave me poor for at least two months or so, a month that I had always enjoyed…April. (--,)

February

Most of my friends hate February. I honestly believe they don’t. It’s the idea of this month and what it symbolizes for that they heavily resent. I do not share their sentiments. Februaries are ordinary for me ever since. It’s the shortest month so I hardly notice it passing by. Birthdays of people I know, families and friends, fall under the love month but these people do not really buy the concept of partying, so, another forgettable factor. And since I purposely inserted “love month” in the last sentence, let’s go there.

February always relates to love. Valentines is celebrated worldwide on the 14th of Februaries. This year, like any other year, I enjoyed Valentines, by myself. I could’ve gone bitter like what my supposedly event’s theme, but I can’t (that story is for another time). Valentines is about as exciting to me as babies uttering gibberish words; exciting to lots but utterly pointless. Okay, seems like there’s a hint of bitterness in that statement. Maybe there is, but isn’t it better if people profess their undying love everyday, not just one lavish present-filled day? But no, I respect those who celebrate hearts’ day. If that’s what rocks their boat, by all means. Nine months later, well…LOL!

February 6, 2009 | Dinner with Maika and Arnee

My two office batchmates, Maika and Arnee, my first friends from work, we finally got together after a year or so. I seriously missed these two. They’re better off with their current careers now anyways. (We didn’t took pictures that night so I used an old one. Come to think of it, this is the only picture of us three together. Tsk tsk...)

February 7-8, 2009 | The Return of Van and Biboy

Two prominent MeanBoys made their presence felt through a night of binging, singing at Makati and jam sessions at Ralph’s suicide-inducing condo.

February 13, 2009 | The New and Improved Mamita

Dinner with our original mentor, Aurora. Yes, she’s no Ru anymore. She’s finally a lady. LOL! My, my, how Mamita have changed.

February 28, 2009 | Renèè Appreciation Night

Yes. Our good friend and most-trusted teammate, Renèè, finally is present for a session. Hence, Renèè Appreciation Night. He is greatly appreciated, or so he thinks. LOL!

February was as cool as January for yours truly. It brought out the best and worst in me. It was not as social though. I could’ve attended several festivals and fairs but I feel like I’ve reached a different level of slothfulness. I’ve only been to three major events. Most fun and excitement happened personally and are not accounted for. It’s all good though. I wouldn’t have it any other way. March, now March has always been interesting for me. I used to not look forward to this month as this is the last month before they school year ends, which translates to periodical and final exams, final everything, start of the Lenten Season…but I’ve managed to survive every time. Couple of important people celebrates their birthdays this month so I’m expecting to be tired from too much partying…woohoo!!! We’ll see what it brings for ‘lil ‘ol me. (--,)

He’s Alive...

In an effort to keep my thinking sane and not slothness take over me, I will try to revive my blogger self. Ever since Christmas season came, I’ve been much too busy doing nothing to write. And the span of December to today, middle of February, is just too long to not get any updates from yours truly. As if people care. Okay, so I never really abandoned the idea of writing. You could see some miserable entries over the course of the holidays and the beginning of this year. I even found time to write how my 2008 went and what to expect this coming year. But gone are the useless entries I write about things that tickle my fancy.

Since December, two college friends tied the knot, I celebrated my birthday, countless reunions and sessions, lost my beloved parking space, lost and gained some individuals, and a slightly life-altering situation. Insignificant, really. But who cares, right? Humankind are suffering from the global financial crisis and here I am rambling about silly things that I went through. Sorry, earthlings. Blame Bill Clinton.

So much happened that writing about them just isn’t feasible for a Grandmaster Sloth that is me. Anyway, I’ve summarized events that I partook in at the end of every month. So far, I’m getting by. Especially now that I ain’t distracted anymore.

I believe that people are richer during holidays for some reason. Now, I’m feeling the after-effects of living “the” life. The caption “Insufficient Funds” is blinking whenever I think of purchasing something. My birthday really took at toll on my riches as this is the first time that I shouldered almost everything. This is the first time colleagues are going to experience an event by moi. Mustn’t disappoint. It didn’t. I was though.

Speaking of disappointments and frustrations…I’ve been really feeling miserable with what’s happening to the office right now. Think the ruling of Marcos and the brains of ERAP. Perfect combination, lovely, isn’t it? I want to break free… But is it possible to without any direction to go to?

Recently, I’ve been catching up with TV shows that I missed because of parties and social life. (Naks!) And this is because of this “no-more-distraction” condition that I’m in. It’s that condition yet again that the focus of Tim is Tim, the most important person in Tim’s life. Why? It’s obvious.

I don’t know how to end this. With a quote? Let me think of one…

Okay, I spent the last 10 minutes searching in Google and I can’t find one. Bah! (--,)