Forgotten in 2011 Part II

Part II of Forgotten in 2011. As promised, I am going to indulge you with the insignificant but you’re going to read them anyway activities of mine for 2011. Let’s start with...

January: a good friend got married and I actually caught the bride’s garter. Cool, right? Had my mind was clear and I was actually there in my A-game. Unfortunately, someone decided to stay in my head and refuses to leave. Also, I threw a grand party to celebrate my 25th year of existence. It was fun. It was the first time I was able to bring together all my circles: high school kada, some of the boys, village kids and office all-stars. I gots to admit, it was a blast. By the way, it was in January that I tried to “grab a spoon.” I failed.

February: Month of the hearts. Not that I joined the festivities. Too busy fixing my own. I, however, found myself and the T&C All-Stars on the sands of Puerto Galera. Awesome, is what it was. Made a fool of myself by trying water sports. City boy here. Not to be used for water. As if I needed more awkwardness. But I found that I am a very responsible friend in this trip. And, hello, iPhone 4.

March: Third time’s a charm. Or so I hoped. Not even flashy confectioneries worked. I think it was in March that I finally started to see things clearly.

April: April was awesome. Busy month: Hannah’s Italian birthday; Mendiola Holy Week homecoming for me, Diana and Mary Grace and tour for Dinah; Nuvali tour for the Venturas courtesy of Uncle Petes and late dinner at Tagaytay during Good Friday; and T&C’s Highest of Fives, fifth year anniversary of our “beloved” account. The spoon-grabbing was absent this month.

May: The long-awaited, years-in-the-making April MeanBoys celebration finally happened. My best buds: Cyrus, Lawrence and Ralph’s joint birthday bash at Astoria Plaza. It was in this event that I realized that we weren’t that group of idiots who will always be there for each other. We are grownups now. Most of us needs to be home for their families and others have someone waiting for them. I was the only one left to spend the night with Cy and Aimee. Very sad, I know. And the happy couple would have preferred to be “alone.” Sorry, guys. Ha-ha. It did not end there. Merville celebrated its annual fiesta and the village kids had their after-party here at our clubhouse: good times. My adorable cousin Bea also had her ballet recital at Ateneo. Clubbing night at Seventh High for a Cosmo event courtesy of one of my favorite in-law, Pau. I was so totally cured of the infatuation. I thought.

June: Being that my friends are now living their own lives and I am totally “over” my predicament, I had to find something to keep myself sane. And that’s where I turned over to the geek side: comic books. My second half of 2011 was dedicated to reading and starting a small collection of comic books. I’ve always liked it but was never really this serious. Say what you want to say, but it really made me happy and kept my sanity intact. Oh, and Dallas Mavericks got their first NBA championship at the expense of Miami Heat.

July: Only three things comes to mind: the end of the Harry Potter films, NBA players visits Manila and Iya’s despedida. Iya finally had her U.S. application granted and by the end of this month, left for California to stay with Ninang Cathy and the family. The NBA visit semi-brought out the 2005 me. Then again, I think it’s already an annual thing. I’m gonna go through that every year but it won’t last very long.

August: Marked my five years working in my company. Half a decade, who would have thought? A milestone, I’m sure; but considered an achievement, on the fence. My dreams will never come to fruition if I stay here for another five years. Spicy Fingers became my favorite Happy Hour hangout in this month. And sadly, I missed this year’s VanessaPalooza because of typhoon Mina, who caused a lot of damage up north. With the departure of Iya, lots of changes in the household.

September: Ah, yes. September. The king of months. The one month I can always count on. Important people celebrating their birthdays. And it always delivers. Mom and I celebrated her birthday at Manila Ocean Park. She always wanted to go there so we finally did. Cool place. And of course, Bes’ annual birthday bash: the party of parties! The one event where we go all out and we go home with smiles on our faces. It was definitely a night to remember, and let’s just leave it at that. For months, I tried very hard to be all rational and to not open that door. After that awesome night, I turned the knob.

October: Look. I was in my very-hopeful-and-happy-but-utterly-naïve mode by this time. I laughed at my first quarter of 2011 self. I cannot believe I was that person. Here’s someone new who is more in my league. Challenging and complicated, yes; but someone who I’ll be able to relate to more. But after a few weeks and one special occasion, my pal failure comes a’knockin’ yet again. But what’s this? An actual MeanBoys nightout took place this month. AJ’s daughter, Ajee, celebrated her 2nd birthday and most of the boys were there. Nightout ensues after the party. I got lambasted by the boys for not being able to do anything when the opportunity presented itself. I told them there was nothing there. They did not buy it one bit. They just know me too well. Well, at least it got me thinking. Good thing Cy’s out of the country. And we certainly can’t forget, Back-to-back championships for my San Beda Red Lions, and I was there to witness the victory.

November: I think I finally accepted my fate of being alone and just decided to make the most out of it. I started not expecting from my friends, lessened my anger and resentment towards not having anyone, and just be awesome instead. I just realized, maybe Mom knew how I felt and planned this whole dine out in a new restaurant every weekend thing. It worked. I was actually enjoying her company and that abandonment feeling left me. Yes, expensive food is very therapeutic. Who says money can’t buy happiness? There was also this team bowling activity--that was fun. And just when I thought everything is going to be okay, the last day of this month proved otherwise.

December: Holiday season. Who doesn’t love Decembers? Fresh from the last day of November, that first-quarter me is back. It’s just the holidays. Then comes the team’s year-end party. I took point, so that the party will be awesome. That means, just like year, which really started it all, the vicious cycle will be repeating itself. But I’m not complaining. It’s just the holidays, right? The Party God made an appearance this month as his year-end party was a success. Also, I found love from my teammates. Suddenly, we ain’t this boring group of individuals anymore. We actually started going out, weekly, which I can honestly say one of the highlights of my year. They knew all along that my feelings never left me and I was just good at keeping it, and eventually it will return. Bastards! But it’s just the holidays. Oh, there are so many worthy moments for this month, but aside from the year-end, Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, there was one particular night that made me very happy. Still, it was just the holidays. It was nothing. And let me contradict and be truthful to myself by saying, for me, it was everything. And I’m kinda carrying that feeling as of this writing. This month, Uncle Alex and family started to move in to their new mansion, so that’s where we celebrated Christmas and New Year’s Eve this year. The Holidays are so much better this year.

How many of your precious minutes did I waste? You’re welcome. Do not fret, there’s still part three, the conclusion of my year-end review. Wait for it. But don’t hold your breath for it.

It’s not just the holidays, after all... (--,)

Forgotten in 2011 Part I

Abandoned. Kimberly asked me to describe 2011 with one word and I, without hesitation, Tweeted to her “abandoned.” Did I suffer through a breakup or got dumped? No. I would have welcomed the breakup over the abandonment issues I went through for this year in a heartbeat. Why abandoned? Emo much? Because “abandoned” sounds so much better than “napagiiwanan.”

What do you mean, “napagiiwanan?” In this time and age, when you reach mid-twenties, settling down is already an option. My titos and titas and family elders would raise their eyebrows with that statement. “Ang bata bata mo pa.” No, kins. I’m not. Sure, I’m years away from the ideal marrying age, but shouldn’t I at least be with someone I can possibly bring to that moment? “Darating din yan.” When? I’m in the peak of my life and I’m not having fun. When I’m old and wrinkled, when I look back at my prime, what will I see? A sad, young fool who never took a risk. Scary thought!

Again, what do you mean “napagiiwanan?” Exactly how it sounds. This year, even Erwin, the one friend we never got tired of making fun of that he’s gonna grow old alone, is in a committed relationship. Imagine my gasp and holy-fuck moment when he told me that he got his “Yes.” Hey, I’m very happy for my friend. I really am. He deserves to be happy, from all the crap he got over the years. But, how can I not be affected? Out of all the boys, I’m the only one who don’t need to ask permission from anyone with whatevers. Tomcat, the only remaining single schmuck from the bunch. I used to laugh at people my age who think their worlds are crumbling and they gonna die alone. Not so funny now that I’m in their shoes, huh?

What made it worse for me? The boys finally fixed their own personal priorities and became always unavailable. Out of 52 Fridays of 2011, I am probably home, very early, 45 of them. I really felt like I had no friends. It’s like seeing or hanging out with them is a luxury. Of course I had to understand. One by one they’re getting married and starting their own families. Can’t argue with that. But that doesn’t certainly make me feel better.

I did found new friends. From someone who is a regular in my writings. Her annual shindig is something I look forward to. Like I imagined, her friends are very cool. Albeit, young and wild, but that’s how I like my lifestyle. Or at least I did, until the latter part of the year. And their company and my delusion of actually being part of her circle lasted for a couple of months, enough for me to go all classic, yet again, with one of them. And we all know how I like them: complicated and impossible. As expected, it didn’t lead to anywhere. Not a big deal though, really. For she, um, well, she kinda plays both sides of the court.

2011 was supposed to be the turning point of my life. I told myself back in college that I should have earned my first million by the time I’m 25. Look, I did. Problem is, I’ve spent all of it over the years, while earning it. I should have been more specific. But what can I say? Our lives do not exactly turn out as we envisioned it back in school.

Okay. It’s not all bad. In fact, I actually view 2011 as a memorable and positive year. Compared to my friends who had lots of deaths in their families, major breakups that shook our whole worlds and just plain fucked up lives, I cannot complain.

I just had an epiphany. And that is I will split this year-end review into parts. Because I have so much I want to share but not enough time to get to all of them. So, kiddies, this is the first part. Tomorrow, let me indulge you with my monthly adventures, however insignificant they may be and how I can proudly say that I have matured in 2011. Happy New Year, loves! (--,)

On High Schools and Destinies

Around a decade ago, I was in high school. (Yes, a decade ago. Bah!) High school should and could be the best and worst time of one’s life. It should be the best if you were at the top of the food chain: athlete, cheerleader, student council member, thick wallets. Worst if you’re a misfit or just plain dork. High school was, for me, well, it was more of a memory than a phase.

I kinda never gave a damn about high school, or school per se for that matter. We were taught that if we go to school, study hard, not miss classes, excel, et cetera, we will succeed in life. Elders, tito, tita, tell that to the jazillioners abroad who created this little networking site called Facebook and now owns everyone’s time and attention. Hey, doing good in school does give you an edge when it comes to the real world. And I cannot really preach about this stuff if I myself never excelled in my institution. But I did finish and graduate. That means I did something right, yes? So why am I stuck in a dead end job? Because I foolishly believe and placed my so-called fate in motivational garbage like “Everything is possible once you put your mind to it,” or “Dream big,” “Reach for the stars,” “May the Force be with you...”

Fate and destiny makes it easier for us to live. It gives us hope, blind hope. It’s a vicious circle. You want to succeed? Find a rich relative. You want to be loved and matter? Be rich.

Do I sound like half-minded bitter idiot? I probably am. Am I making a point? No, not really. I don’t even have any goals here. I just felt the need to write. I, however, was trying to connect high school life with what I’m feeling right now. That feeling of wanting to belong. And I miserably failed. Even my transitions sucked!

Now that that’s off my chest, I still feel horrible and spiteful. Yep, still got it! (--.)

Shall I Compare Thee...

"Hmm... her pancakes are much better than yours." No matter how secure we are with our present, one cannot help but think about what used to be. It's just how we are programmed. Whether we hear a song or we pass by somewhere, we suddenly remember something, no matter how obscure it is.

Comparison. This is something that I strongly believe should be included in the seven capital sins of, for the lack of a better word, love. Comparison will never ever bring you peace. It just strengthens that proverbial what-if and reminds you how foolishly happy you once was. Tell me thinking about how she used to save all the orange gummi bears for you or request for extra butter for your popcorn when you know she's figure-conscious does not make you go hmm, and smile a little. Not that the current one is a disappointment. Oh, no. She's a gymnast and takes up yoga classes. You stock up on your Red Bulls and Gatorades and Alaxan whenever she sleeps over. But like I said, the littlest and stupidest things triggers that comparison.

Here's the fun part. The harder you try to not compare, the more you do. You just gotta love the irony. But it really is not healthy. How do you think your current will feel when he or she finds out you were thinking about someone/thing else when he or she something for you and it did not meet your expectations? How would you feel if you fail to meet your girlfriend's expectations? I'm not saying you should divert all your energy on eliminating this destructive trait. You can't. It is futile to resist. But what one must do is absorb, smile then think about the reason why that thought is only a memory, and focus on what is making you happy this very moment. Provided you are happy. If you're just reminded about something without your partner triggering it, then it's not comparison. You're just sad.

This all came out of nowhere. Well, actually, a friend and I were talking about some almost-perfect-dork finally committing. But he committed to chick who is not-so-perfect. "Tagumpay," as I would like to call it. Emphasis on the almost-perfect trait of the dork. Now, my friend is accusing me of comparing that chick to our chick who has this thing for almost-perfect-dork. I, of course, denied because I really wasn't. It is not in my nature to compare, except maybe for prices. But off the record, if ever, that not-so-perfect chick is going to eat our chick for breakfast. (And what an inappropriate yet awesome image that is.)

Regardless of how not-so-perfect chick will destroy our chick in a heartbeat, if I were in almost-perfect-dork's expensive shoes, I'd choose ours without thinking twice. But that's just me, the Foolish Party God. (--,)

Needy Much?

Look, I know the odds are against me. And she ain't about to even the scales any time soon. And with my track record, possibly never at all. Call me foolish for hoping for some affirmation, but can you really blame me? Genuine appreciation will do. Not the obligatory and polite ones. Yes, one should never expect. But do sane people really never expect? So easy to say, "Never expect. That way, you won't be disappointed." Testify! And it's certainly very easy to reply, "Oh, I don't," complete with the sheepish grin. And maybe, we really don't. But is there really a difference between hoping and expecting? "Not expecting but hoping." How annoying is that statement? Especially if you believe in it.

I get it. The timing's all wrong and off. And I respect that. So I'm playing the waiting game. And for those of you who really know me, I am what you would call a grandmaster when it comes to waiting games. I know it's too much, but, I'm gonna have to ask, again, for a little reaffirmation. I'm slightly needy. There I said it. I am. But for someone who have never, ever got who he wanted, I'd think twice before throwing rocks at my direction. I apologize for wasting your time. I'm just hurt. (--.)

Banchetto

When we were exiled and thrown to what most people call Ortigas, there was only one silver lining, and that is the glorious grub-filled markets of Banchetto. Going there was easy as cake served there, right?

Wrong! They are only open on Fryday nights, till the wee hours of Saturday morning. Them creature of the nights I call my friends don’t have any problem at all sampling every cholesterol-infested goodness that paradise has to offer as they are in the office every Fryday night. And they always rub it in my face every chance they got.

30 Frydays and seven months later, take that you magnificent bastards. Hah! As expected, t’was a foodgasmic experience. My buddies Ralph and Erwin will attest to that. Although, they were enjoying the non-edible eyecandy vendors more than the monster burgers and kebabs.

Even delivered food to the office just because I am the best and most outstanding friend they have, only that and for no other reason. Really. Great stuff! Banchetto, I shall return. (—,)

The 2011 T&C Media Puerto Galera Experience: Return to Transcription

Things I brought home with me from this trip:

- “Don’t Stop Believin” by Journey will never apply to me because I have been, am, and will always be a city boy. I can’t and don’t swim, ‘kay?!

- I don’t think I’ll be riding any inflatable water contraptions for the meantime. I wasn’t trying to impress. I did it because I wanted to try out things I don’t usually do. #notaprettysight

- Fruits go well with rhum. And I think I made Professor Flitwick proud. #charms

- The people I was with are some of the best individuals out there. Already knew that, but they really are. #waitingtogetpaid

- I am responsible. #OhyesIam.

- I really hate long trips. :|

- Some things are so close but still so far. #Saklap

All in all, it was an awesome, awesome weekend. And I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again. Might tweak some scenarios here and there and bring stuffs that weren’t brought, or even the reputation-changing mishap, I ain’t changin’ nothin’. Another round, all-stars? After Holy Week, yes? (—,)

Never Again, 2010

Temper. I had the worst temper for 2010. It was probably my angriest year yet. And I haven’t had the slightest idea why I was so upset. The little things, as in insignificant things ticked me off. I was even scared sometimes that I might do something regrettably wrong. Fortunately, I did not and kept myself sane. However, I might be looking at a heart attack if I don’t calm myself soon. Calming myself soon is making progress, especially in the last few weeks. But that’s a whole nuther story.

2010 kinda sucked for me. And there’s no one major reason. It just did. Why? Here why:

- First off, my favorite talkshow host, Conan O’Brien, and his show were controversially dropped by those evil networks.

- Missed Avatar in IMAX because that placed is cursed.

- My favorite short book, Vince’s Life, concluded really bad. Stupid ending!

- The Tagaytay birthday trip was generally fun, but the turnout wasn’t that commendable. Thank you, so-called friends.

- Most of my weekends were spent home being pathetic and miserable.

- Charley’s got a couple of scratches because of idiot drivers and the most useless and stupid transportation: motorcycles.

- My favorite American Idol finalist, ever, Didi Benami, barely made it to Top 10.

- One of the best TV shows ever, it’s in my Top 10 all-time favorite list, Legend of the Seeker, was axed after two seasons.

- Richard Gordon didn’t even accumulate a million votes and the people believed a golden (or should I say yellow) boy will do a better job of running the nation.

- Lost, the TV show, ended. It was the most exciting and saddest 2 hours of my TV life.

- Boston Celtics bowed to LA Lakers in 7 games. It was a worthy and exciting series.

- WORST MOMENT OF 2010 GOES TO: transferring to Ortigas. I think that move was the catalyst for my being upset 24/7.

There were, however, some moments that are worth mentioning, like:

- Lots of christenings this year. AJ’s daughter, Ajee and I was godfather twice to the babies of colleagues, Akee for Renee and Sebastian for Roi. They somehow trusted me enough. But the best baptism of the year, and possibly ever, goes to Lexi’s Christening. Mobile bars, swanky dinner, hot patrons--good freaking times!

- This year, I probably spent more time in front of the screen than any other year. Downloaded so many stuffs, mostly TV shows that I follow. I guess it kept me sane for most of 2010.

- By summer, the boys and I were able to go to Lucena, Quezon for the infamous Pahiyas Festival. It was my first native festival and my buddies and I really enjoyed our time there.

- I was featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine. Yay!

- My beloved Red Lions and Red Cubs won double championships in the 86th season of NCAA. The Lions made history with their 18-0 sweep of the tournament and the Cubs winning back-to-back titles. I have to say that the celebration was off the hook for this one.

- Like last year, there were still lots of parties and events that I graced my presence with. Can’t say that they’re much or less fun than the others because of my belief that a party is a party, whether it blows or not. Went to my first worship concert this year to support Hannah and I actually enjoyed them. And no, I did not burst into flames.

- She’s birthday and 2010 Holidays. These two are my favorite moments of the year.

I admit, not all bad. But I cannot fathom to put the year 2010 and the word Awesome in a sentence together. The conclusion of my lady best friend’s four-year relationship scared me because for a moment there, the 2005 emerged and that year wasn’t also good on me. But after several depressed sequences and emo situations, and with the help of a new disaster waiting to happen, I, for the first time, felt there’s really nothing more there. We are just really, really good friends and I am genuinely happy that we are. I find that I’d be more happier with this semi-new character in my life. Caution to self, though: seriously challenging.

For 2011: I have but one goal--try to be truly happy. Don’t care how or why, I just don’t want to be angry anymore. I’m tired of being upset with every thing that isn’t even important to me. Maybe study. I remember saying I will definitely go all serious about my career when I reach 25, so I tried to save in 2010 to further my studies and that one’s actually very possible.

Okay, this is a lengthy one. But I did have lots to say. After all, I don’t write anymore these days. So again, disappointed for 2010 and hoping to be not angry for 2011. Seven hours before the year ends, bring out your noisemakers, kids. It’s time to drink and be merry. (--,)