Monday, July 21, 2008

Gotta Go My Own Way

Once upon a time, I had this wish that I was born in a different country, a First World nation actually. This was way back in high school, where ideals are stupid and imagination too wild. Since then I’ve learned to accept my fate and kinda liked it anyways. But there’s one thing that I envy from individuals from foreign countries: kids moving out once they’re in the right age.

Filipinos are known for their family values. It’s that age-old quality that was instilled in us ever since our relatives discovered that we can comprehend. And sure, it’s great and all. I, myself, value family, probably, above everything else. But there’s only so much that I can take, or in my topic’s case, value.

I am young--no surprise there. But if I were to ask what my short-term goal is, I’d answer, “move out” of my own house. Yeah, I can’t. First of all, for practical reasons, of course, and, who would take care of Mum and Iya? Yes, I like to say that I don’t generally care but it’s a different thing when immediate family comes into the equation. And I really can’t abandon something that’s mine. But, I fear that I might resent every moment if I don’t get out of here.

I just can’t stand being told what, when, where, how--to do everything. Like I said, I’m practically a kid but I have a pretty firm grasp on the meaning of life and how to live it. I am making mistakes, I admit that, but with mistakes, I am aware, comes consequences and I am fully prepared to face them. I am in the point of my life that I want to get my own place and rule my own little silly world. Let me go my own way.

I don’t hate Mum. Au contraire, I love her. But the caring must have limits. I just can’t live life being too careful. It’s not me. I have always kept my nose clean and I’ve never been into deep trouble. No, I’m too careful for that. I grew up telling myself to be careful with every step I make, so, doesn’t that make me ready to be me? Just hope that they accept the fact that it’s the 21st century and the good old days are just as it is, old and done.

I do apologize for the accompanying music. For the lack of better choices. (--,)


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6 comments:

keem said...

My sentiments exactly. Just yesterday I was on the verge of tears. Nothing big, but just the small things, you know. And it's usually the small things that matter, at least for me.

Kadz said...

There are pros and cons too of being independent. I guess, you got to tell which one is which when you're already there. B-)

VeeJei said...

Akala ko High School Musical ang magiging background music mo e. Wahehehe!

I've thought of that before... pero I'm too attached to my family... and our house. Hehehe!


(wala ako sa Flavors in Multiply mo... huhuhu!)

VeeJei said...

Oh, andun pala sa Coffee Drinkers. Wahahahaha!

Erase, erase, erase! Ahahaha!

timeenutlatte said...

Keem: Hmm..I actually remember you posting something like this, right? Haysh!

Kads: Yeah, Mr. Independent. But I feel your homesickness sometimes, especially when there are family holidays or occasions. Like you said, you'll know when you're there.

Vee: For the lack of a better appropriate song nga. Hahahaha! Me dialogue pa sa simula yan. Troy....

timeenutlatte said...

Andun sa Coffee Drinkers yun mga "blogger" talaga. As in they update their blogs constantly. Hehehe (--,)