I Dream of Ellen

Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real and so perfect that you were utterly disappointed and frustrated when you’ve awaken from it? Well, I’m sure most of people out there did have these types of dreams, and lots would say “nightmares.” But mine was far from nightmares. It was sweet and “sigh-inducing.”

I dreamt of spending day, week, can’t really remember, but I spent time with Ellen Page. Well, for those of you who don’t know her, she was just nominated for an Oscar on her role as Juno, a movie with the same title as the lead. You see, I never really paid attention to this actress. Sure I noticed her and yeah, she’s pretty, but she’s no Natalie Portman, (then again, maybe she’s the next Natalie). That’s why I woke up really, really curious as to why she was in my subconscious mind.

In my dream, I already knew her and we were sort of getting along. I then accompanied her to different locations and just spent endearing moments with each other. I took her back to her place and since we’re really tired, we pressed on to her bedroom and…conversed, just conversed. Like I said before, it’s my perfect fantasy: meet some interesting chic, talk about stuff that people find boring, and hit it off. I really can’t remember our topics but it ended blissfully with this scene: me somewhat falling beside her, staring at each other eyes, and yes--mushy, mushy--a kiss. Like of those in the movies, passionate and dreamy. Then, just like some annoying motion, the channel changed and my dream shifted to a bad counseling session from some unknown character. And then, I woke up.

I had various episodes of dreams last night but when I regain consciousness, it was Ellen’s sequence which is the clearest of them all. I’m pretty sure I had that lovestruck smile in my face upon waking up. And after a few seconds, I realized the inevitable: it’s just a dream. Damn! That perfect moment with a perfect someone and it all happened while I was sleeping. What does it mean? And why her? *Sigh*

Sunday Scribbles XII

FOOD: Your weird food combinations
March 30, 2008

Fried food goes with Catsup

I was brought up by my Ninong and he was like a father to me while I was growing up. So, naturally, I inherited his weird traits and food combinations. His number one rule: any fried dish goes well with catsup. So there, as long as it’s fried and will kill you when you grow up, dip it into catsup. My fave: Chicharon with catsup and Bangus with catsup.

Tim’s Instant Heart Attack Rice Bowl

We were given this industrial size canister of grated Parmesan cheese and bottle of Ranch-style dressing. One evening, I was served ground beef and rice. I decided to use the cheese and dressing. Don’t want them to go to waste so I mixed the rice with margarine, added the ground beef, poured dressing, added catsup, and topped it with bacon bits and lots of Parmesan cheese: all into a bowl. It’s my favorite instant dinner nowadays. I recommend two bowls if you really wanna feel lightheaded.

Absolut Vodka with Biko as pulutan

What do you do when you’re having session with friends and you guys ran out of pulutan? Raid the kitchen! We found this fresh bilao of biko and decided it will do. We’re too lazy and too cheap to buy roasted chicken outside anyways. It adds flavor to the vodka and you get to sleep really early after a couple of shots. Hehehe.

French Fries and Ice Cream
Pizza with Chocolate syrup

I hate soggy fries. But there’s something about fries and ice cream that I enjoy. Basic flavors will do and the fries should be extra crispy. And the second part would be pizza drizzled with chocolate syrup. It just gets weirder and weirder, doesn’t it?

Well, the topic is food again. Contrary to popular belief, I love food and food makes me happy. It’s probably the only thing that sustains my happiness nowadays. So I’m sharing with you some of the weird food combinations that I constantly enjoy and still can’t figure out why I do. Buon Appetito.

Yummy, right? Click the logo!

Expression

“What’s wrong?” For the past few days, weeks, even, I’ve been asked this question by almost every friend, colleague and acquaintance that I got. I have the answer to that and I will save that for the latter part of this entry. Let’s begin with my facial expression. Ever since I can remember, I’ve inherited my mom’s “irritated and annoyed” look. That grunt-like expression that makes people wonder if I’m angry or in a bad mood. Frankly, I am somewhat always irritated, and I guess the expression became permanent. But little things such as people blocking my way, loud nonsense chit-chats, rowdy pesky little kids: they’re the ones that tick me off. I have never carried a grudge for somebody because I believe it’s just not worth my oh-so precious time. So even at the start of the day, when you see me in my usual face, do not hesitate to greet or approach me. Chances are, I ain’t in a bad mood. I’m just stuck with that look.

Through college, I learned to smile and take things lightly. I’ve met people who taught me how to loosen up and not be uptight. So my “expression,” didn’t exactly left my face, but it was kinda lessened. That is, until now. Ever since I’ve left the halls of my beloved alma mater and embarked on this “real world” thing, I was faced with challenges that I just laughed about while growing up. “Hah! You will never see wearing long sleeved corporate attires and answer to anyone besides myself.” But that only happens to people who, upon birth, were just waiting for their childhood to be over so that they could succeed their fathers as the CEO of their family-owned corporations. Which brings me back to my point.

As I’ve said, that “smile” never really left me, but the “expression” came back knocking a couple of weeks ago. I learned to enjoy what I do for a living to the point that I will make this statement, “typing subtitles and captioning programs’ probably one of the coolest jobs in the world.” It’s a known fact that I get to be updated with the entertainment industry and I get to learn new and different things with every program that I work on. And, my teammates, well, they’re the cherry on the top of this dessert that I call “work.” But what happens when that dessert ain’t sweet anymore?

So here’s what causing the return of the discouraged me. I’m sure I’m missing Old School Offline. Most of my friends-slash-colleagues have moved on to better careers. Even the so-called “foundations of Offline” are already but a memory of my once promising account. Two of those pioneers said goodbye this month and another two pillars are going to go bye-bye next in April. As of writing, there’s only 15 of us left, minus the two that are leaving next month.

Another reason would be, and this is connected with the last one, we’re getting this “being screwed” feeling. We’re being given new responsibilities and tasks that are beyond what we signed up for. Really, it’s like a reality show where everything is monitored, but we’re not free to do anything we’d like to do. Every damn thing is directed and people are just getting screwed from left to right. I won’t elaborate anymore. The feeling just sucks. People are asking me what’s up with me because I’m not in my usual self. “Wag ka magdrama ng ganyan. It’s so not you!”

Lastly, my on and off infatuation with someone is, well, on and off. Just last week I was head over heels with just a glimpse of her, and now, I’m kinda wanting out. Her, being one of the almighty-ish, is not helping. One can’t help feel hostile with these new directives, but then again, it’s not her fault. She doesn’t even want to be in that position anyways. I guess, my best course of action would be, professionalism.

The summer season is taking its toll on me. I really want to take a really long vacation but I cannot quit my day job. How I wish that summer vacation’s applicable in the corporate world. Take a break for two months and be back to your work by June. So the planned getaways will just have to do, at least, something to get excited about.

I need motivation! I need something to look forward to. I’m drained!

IMDB Meme

IMDB Keyword Meme from Jai

Instructions:
- Go to IMDb
- Pick out 10 movies you like
- Pick out 4 plots keywords for each
- Post them and have your friends guess

1. Avante Garde Art, Wager, Prom, Pygmalion
2. Gloves, Coincidence, Skating Rink, Fate - Serendipity
3. Metal Bikini, Fat, Rebellion, Christ Allegory
4. Obituary, Instant Messaging, Pedestrian Crossing, Wig
5. Disneyland, Dentist, Nameless Character, Nostalgic
6. Social Climber, Hypocrisy, Narcissism, Defloration - Cruel Intentions
7. Giant Snake, Desert, Impersonation, Happy Ending
8. Failure, Cellphone, Tap Dance, Self-Referential - Elizabethtown
9. Beach Volleyball, Singing, Cult Favorite, Based on Article - Top Gun
10. Opposites Attract, Misanthrope, Deception, Based on a Novel

Tagg: Kads, Keem, & Marie

**Sigh**

Mental note: if you are trying to move on from some feelings toward a person that you don’t want to pursue, do not check their social networking sites. You just get to see them in a different way from what you are already used to. And chances are, you’ll find reason to continue your foolishness and get back in the hunt. Grrr.

Sunday Scribbles XI

FILM: FAVORITE QUOTES
March 23, 2008

The Godfather (1972)
“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”
- Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando)

Top Gun (1986)
“You can be my wingman any time.”
- Tom Kazansky (Val Kilmer)

Before Sunrise (1995)

“I used to think that if none of your family or friends knew you were dead, it was like not really being dead. People can invent the best and the worst for you.”
“Well, who says relationships have to last forever?”
- Celine (Julie Delpy)
“Everybody's parents fucked them up. Rich kids parents gave them too much. Poor kids, not enough. You know, too much attention, not enough attention. They either left them or they stuck around and taught them the wrong things.”
- Jesse (Ethan Hawke)

Fight Club (1996)
“If you woke up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?”
“How much can you possibly know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?”
“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.”
- Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt)

Cruel Intentions (1999)

“Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.”
“My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible.”
“You were very much in love with her. And you're still in love with her. But it amused me to make you ashamed of it. You gave up on the first person you ever loved because I threatened your reputation. Don't you get it? You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with. And now you've completely blown it with her. I think it's the saddest thing I've ever heard.”
- Kathryn Merteuil (Sarah Michelle Gellar)

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

“Yup, see, there’s a difference between “like” and “love.” Because I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.”

- Bianca Stratford (Larisa Oleynik)

High Fidelity (2000)

“What really matters is what you like and not what you are like! Books, records, films...these things matter! Call me shallow! It’s the f*cking truth! And by this measure, I was having the best date of my life!!”
- Rob Gordon (John Cusack)

How to Deal (2003)
“The quickest way to end a relationship with someone is to try to start one!”
- Halley Marie Martin (Mandy Moore)

Love Actually (2003)
“But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.”
- Sam (Thomas Sangster)

Before Sunset (2004)
“Memory's a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past.”
“There are so many things I want to do, but I end up doing not much.”
- Celine (Julie Delpy)

A Lot Like Love (2005)
“There’s nothing better than a great romance…to ruin a perfectly good friendship.”
- Movie tagline

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
“Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.”
- Jane Smith (Angelina Jolie)

Elizabethtown (2005)
“I'm hard to remember, but I'm impossible to forget.”

“You know, you're always trying to break up with me, and we're not even together.”
“Just tell me you love me and get it over with!”
“I've been the substitute person my whole life. I like being alone too much. I like it that way. It's a lot less pressure.”
- Claire Colburn (Kirsten Dunst)

Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)
“May the Force be with you…”
- Ben Kenobi (Alec Guiness)

For movies, “Before Sunrise” and “Before Sunset”, almost every dialogue is quote-worthy and so I’ma just place the links here for them words.

Kim, you were right. I did like and enjoyed this week’s edition. And frankly, my dear, the list ain’t complete. I certainly have lots of favorite movie quotes and I can’t simply just list them all here. These are just a few of what I remembered and the ones that stuck to me the most.

“You want the truth? Click the logo”

Black Saturday

It’s about 7:00 PM and it’s Black Saturday. Oh, and I’m in the office. And lastly, I’m all alone. Literally, all alone in the fifth floor. I’ve just finished watching the latest season of Lost and I currently don’t have anything else to do since I’ve watched most shows with new episodes the whole week. Nothing to do also as I think our foreign bosses are celebrating Holy Week. I thought they weren’t Catholics?

Yeah, I’m left alone to look after voice messages. Bit stupid, really. Just convert voice messages left by people to text documents, so that the recipients will receive it in their mobiles or emails. Hey, that’s technology for you. Okay, it’s not stupid. It pays the bills. But still, everyone’s out of town and happily having dinner or starting up bonfires at the beach and I’m stuck here in my seat.

Well, that’s it really. Our maintenance engineers constantly passing by my location and giving me that “what time do you get off so we could turn off the lights” look. Yeah, the company’s into this whole cost-cutting thing for some weeks now. And me being alone and consuming electricity’s not really helping them. Mwehehe. So, there. Just wanted to make a point that I am alone. Nothing more.

Edit: It’s 11:00 PM. I just got home. I had to stay of an additional hour because those people who should relieve me came in not on time. Can’t blame them, who would wanna report to work on the eve of Easter? Still, I’m known as that guy who never renders overtime. Tsk!

A Minor Epiphany

Yesterday’s ex’s birthday. Last Saturday, she had this party and I was invited. I initially planned on going for two things: she’s my friend and her cousin’s a well-known chef. Steaks and buffet…oh gawd. Then again, I asked for my friends’ takes if should go or shouldn’t. No one said yes. It won’t look good, they said. Yes, I will make a big entrance and probably be the most popular guest that will arrive there. (I guarantee that I would’ve been) But still, there’s a reason why she’s called an “ex.” Done for, over, the end. So, I didn’t go.

Last night, I was gleeful. For three weeks, tension and coldness describes my everyday experience in the workplace; for reasons that I have no idea. Last night, finally, I got to clear things out. I thought I did something wrong or unintentionally made offense. I really believed that it was my doing. But no. T’was more personal and I left it at that. I don’t want to pry. I don’t have the right to anyway. I’m just hoping that things work out and happiness prevails. No one deserves it better.

This morning, I had a minor epiphany. I don’t think I should go through with this “new plan.” (I can almost hear Hannah’s cheers and shouts of joy) Remembering what went wrong with the past, history will most likely repeat itself if I continue with it. No, there’s no comparison. But the situation’s kinda similar. Work, work, work--why? And for what? Yes, it’ll pay off, and I’m sure it makes one happy to be productive--but me, I don’t wanna spend my young years being old. I will work but I will not push myself to the point of breaking down. And when health’s already in the equation, I say rest and relax. The world won’t end if you don’t work, well, at least, if it did end, you ain’t the reason for it. I hope.

I don’t know. I’m not saying that’s final. Hey, I still dig the plan. And that plan’s worth it. But do I risk another “irreconcilable differences” if things don’t work out? Abangan ang mga susunod na kabanata…

Image from SuckatLife.com